A new era of bullying: Teens' stories
Posted 11/11/09: Not so long ago, a kid being bullied meant being called names or having your books knocked out of your arms.
Today, the term doesn't begin to capture what's going on in schools across the Capital Region: Intimidation, terror, and in some cases, assault.
Just last year in Schenectady, there were four suicides in five months -- and one of the causes? Bullying.
But it doesn't just happen in Schenectady: With social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, the experts say the problem has just exploded, making the acts more common and more vicious.
It takes just three minutes for students to change classes: Three minutes to stop at their locker, three minutes to grab their homework... three minutes to bully a classmate.
Those three minutes can change that classmate's life forever -- and in some cases, even end it.
Fifteen-year-old Nicole* is familiar with such bullying tactics. After four years of intimidation, threats and terror, she took a razor and cut herself.
"My stomach was in my throat every morning because I knew something bad was going to happen," she says, describing how felt walking into school each day.
And then the one utterance that pushed her over the edge: "'You don't even deserve to live, so why don't you like die'," she recalls.
The bullying started in the fifth grade, and Nicole's mother saw the signs of a serious problem.
"By Sunday night, the stomachache would start," she says. "The headache, the dry heaving in the morning, the panic attacks. She started wetting the bed again."
Then in sixth grade, Nicole thought, "Maybe I should just kill myself. I shouldn't be alive. They keep telling me I'm a loser. I should just go kill myself."
"It killed me," she says.
Nicole's mother says, "To see a child doubt that they deserve to live because of what another child said to them... it's disturbing."
The mother of another teen, Tom*, says her son was also victimized. He was cornered in a locker room after gym class by three other boys shouting lewd remarks.
According to Tom's mother, the coach walked in and saw what was happening but pretended he didn't. "He just says, 'Knock it off,'" she says. "'Get dressed and leave the room."
"The whole 'sticks and stones' that i gew up with has changed a great deal, and now these kids are dealing with a form of social media that has blown it completely out of proportion," she says.
Melissa's* parents say their daughter was bullied on Facebook, taunted into a fight by another girl.
"We just got into this big verbal fight over the Internet and she wanted to meet me at an elementary school and stuff," says Melissa.
To make matters worse, when Melissa showed up, she says 20 others were behind the school waiting for her, thanks to an Internet invite that went out to hundreds. It's proof what starts in cyberspace doesn't end there.
Disturbing stories like this live throughout America. According to a national survey, 42 percent of kids have been bullied while online. Thirty-five percent have been threatened and 55 percent have not told their parents.
With the internet now giving bullies online access to other peoples homes 24 hours a day, seven days a week, what can be done? We'll have tips in Part 2 of our story tomorrow.
* Names have been changed to protect identities.
